The majority of people in each of our lives do not help us grow. Some of our acquaintances may have helped us to grow in the past, but not any more. We may think certain individuals help us grow, but really, they just sympathize with us or tell us things we already know.
Who helps you grow? Here is my quick guide to finding the person who will help you grow.
- Identify the people who do not help you grow. You don’t have to eliminate these people from your life, just be honest about their role. If a person is not helping you reach a new level, find someone who can.
- Focus most of your attention on growing your strengths. I will am not a good gardener. I am a good public speaker. If I spend all my time trying to improve my understanding of horticulture, I might become a level 5 gardener. If I spend my energy improving my presentation skills, though, I might become a level 10 public speaker. Society often tells us to improve our weaknesses, but this is not efficient. Work on your strengths.
- Spend time with someone who tells you things you don’t like to hear. This is a good gauge of who will help us grow. The person who only soothes your ego will rarely help you grow.
- Spend time with people who make you head hurt. If it stretches your brain, then it will help you grow. Spend time learning new things and stretching your understanding.
For me, a difficulty is finding people who are at the level to which I would like to grow. I don’t come in contact with very many people like that, so my growth often comes from asking questions by email, reading the books of people who challenge me, or listening to recorded teachings. Do the same. Find people who will help you grow, even if they are not people with whom you regularly come in contact. Grow.